Holiday Due Date Pressures

Holiday Due Date Pressures
By: Emily Bergeron

All good things come to those who wait! Don't let the holiday pressures get to you.
The best present you can give your baby this season is letting them pick their own birthday!

 The holidays are fast approaching, and everyone is making plans. Celebrations, family get-togethers, dinner parties, travel plans, and out-of-town guests. But if your due date falls near one of those holidays, you may be feeling a bit of added stress. How can you make plans when you have no idea when the baby will come? You might still be pregnant, you could go into labor that day, or you could be caring for a newborn and recovering from giving birth! On top of that, your care provider may also be wondering how he’ll make it to all of his holiday engagements if he’s waiting on a handful of babies to be born. All of this adds up to a lot of pressure on you, and even though research shows that there are increased risks to elective inductions and cesareans, care providers and family members may be encouraging you to schedule your baby’s arrival for their convenience. 

So, what can you do to make the holidays as stress free as possible while still making the best choices for your baby?

Care Providers

Sometimes doctors will come right out and offer to schedule an induction because of an upcoming holiday, or mention the fact that they are going on vacation and suggest an induction so you can deliver with them before they leave. Other times they may not be so straight forward. Here are some questions you can ask to help you make decisions about suggested interventions:

•  What are the benefits of this procedure/intervention? How is this going to help keep you and/or baby healthy?
•  What are the risks of intervening? All interventions applied to birth carry some type of risk. Many of these risks are minor when considered alone, but each intervention has the potential to kickstart a snowball effect of events that lead to much greater risks. These risks can affect not only you and your baby, but can also greatly impact your future births as well!
  
  

  Check out this short video to better understand the The Snowball Effect

• What are the alternatives? There are frequently natural alternatives to medical interventions for a non-complicated pregnancy. To find them, you may need to seek out the advice of local doulas, childbirth educators, chiropractors or Licensed Midwives.
• What does your intuition tell you? A mother’s intuition is often right on the money. Trust your gut. Does the information you have make sense? Following your intuition might mean you need to seek out more information before making a decision.
•  What happens if we do nothing?  Are you or baby in any danger if you do nothing (allowing your body to lead the way)? Is there any reason to make a decision immediately? If not, make a plan with your provider on how you will follow up.

Before making any decisions, look into the risk and benefits! Lamaze International has made an easy to understanding, evidenced-based guide to help you make healthy choices for your birth. You can check out these 6 Healthy Birth Practices here .

Family and Friends

     As much as everyone wants you to be at their celebrations, or wants to be around to experience the birth of your baby, they (and you) will just have to accept that there is always a certain amount of uncertainty that comes with childbirth. Here are some ideas that may help:

• Thank them for their excitement and do your best to accommodate people’s plans, but stress the fact that you can make no firm commitments and have to make choices based on what’s best for baby.
•  Have family and friends come to visit you instead of making travel plans close to your due date.
• Have a back-up plan for guests in case you go into labor while they are visiting.
  
•  Make alternative plans in case you have to miss an event because of your birth (the nerve of that baby, interrupting your Thanksgiving dinner!)
  
•  Make sure you have support for your decisions. When excited and well-meaning family and friends are pressuring you to do what they want, and you’re exhausted and uncomfortable, it can be difficult to keep your priorities in mind. Having a doula and/or other supportive people around you who can remind you of why you made the decisions you made, and possibly act as a buffer to the not-so-helpful suggestions can make all the difference in the world!

Remember, your due date is not an expiration date, a holiday is not a medical reason for induction, and babies do best  (and birth works best) when they are allowed to come when they are ready!

Emily Bergeron has been a practicing doula since 2008 and is a MotherBirth Founder. She graduated from UL in 2003 with a degree in Psychology and worked at a variety of social service agencies before becoming a doula. She lives in Iota with her husband and three children. She serves as a doula, Professional Placenta Encapsulationist and childbirth educator in the Lafayette and Lake Charles areas. She believes that doula support is an integral part of having a positive birth experience.


Emily will be teaching our FREE Comfort Measures Class December 5, 1:30-4:30pm at the Lafayette Public Library. If you would like to attend, please click here to RSVP and reserve your spot!

Doulas are for Daddies too!

Doulas are for Daddies too!

Written by Heather Zaunbrecher, RN

     As a first time mom, you are preparing yourself for childbirth. But, will Daddy be as prepared as you? Many times, he is not. When your contractions begin and your baby’s big day comes, you will have no choice but to actively participate in your birth. Have you thought about what Dad will be doing? Has he thought about what he will be doing?

     Research confirms that there are actually very few men who feel comfortable, confident and competently able to meet the needs of their woman in labor (The Role of the Father in Childbirth, Midwifery Today). Take my husband for example. When labor started and we arrived at the hospital, my husband quickly positioned himself in the nearest corner, big-eyed, helpless and anxious.  As an experienced labor and delivery nurse, I have seen this scenario happen over and over again as dads find it difficult to maintain their confidence in an uncomfortable environment filled with busy, authoritative professionals/strangers.

     It was not until my husband exhibited the same behavior for the birth of our second baby that I realized that Daddy needed a doula!

     How can the doula change this scenario? Well first, she can encourage Dad out of the corner and instruct him on a helpful technique that is appropriate for each stage of labor. While she may be the one who figures out that the hip squeeze may relieve your discomfort, Daddy is usually the one with the muscles strong enough to apply the perfect amount of pressure. If the doula were to suggest that you sway with the intensifying surges of labor, Daddy will likely be the person you want to hold close for your labor ‘dance’. From experience I can tell you that no amount of research on the benefits of having a doula can speak to how incredible it is to have Daddy feeling confident and receiving the support *HE* needs to be your superhero when you need him most. 

     The fact is, Daddies do not regret hiring doulas. They even go on to hire us for subsequent births. Why? Because while caring for the emotional and physical needs of the mother is always the doula’s top priority, caring for those same needs for Daddy is a very close second. Being the sole person responsible to support a laboring woman is a tough job, and Daddies appreciate the safe space the doula provides for him to take a personal minute if he needs one, or to have someone remind him to hydrate, or to have someone he trusts help him with new questions, concerns or situations.

    The truth is, as doulas, we know that nobody wants the best for you more than Daddy. We could never take his place. What we can do, however, is help him reach his maximum potential as your birth companion. That is why doulas are for Daddies too!

Heather is a registered nurse, DONA trained birth doula/montrice, midwife's assistant and a mother of 5! She serves families from Lake Charles to Lafayette. As a doula and a labor and delivery nurse, Heather is passionate about working closely with families to help them achieve the birth experience they desire.

The way to give birth confidently...

Give birth with confidence!
Written by Tory Carrier

After giving birth to my first child in 2008 I clearly saw the need for childbirth education to continue to be offered in our community. My mother-in-law taught Lamaze for over 20 years in Opelousas, so that was why I initially chose Lamaze. However, after becoming a certified doula and attending many births in a hospital setting, I am convinced Lamaze is the best way to prepare for birth. Lamaze wants all women to give birth with confidence and gives them the tools to prepare well. 

The way to give birth confidently is to be prepared in all the right ways!

The 21st Century woman needs more than breathing techniques and comfort measures to have a great birth experience. She needs to know how to use her birth plan at her prenatal appointments so she has more tools in her toolbox for labor. She needs to be aware of the most common medical interventions used during pregnancy and birth: how they’re used, when they are necessary, and how to keep her labor as normal as possible if interventions become medically necessary.

She also needs to practice comfort measures such as visualization and relaxation, learn movements and positions for the stages and phases of labor, know how to choose a supportive caregiver, and build an excellent support network before, during, and after her birth, not to mention being prepared for breastfeeding and newborn care!

There is plenty of excellent research that shows what the best practices are for labor and birth, but it can be difficult to find this evidence, understand it, and then make it apply to your birth. It can be overwhelming to even know where to start! Lamaze has made it easy for you by summing up all the most current evidence and research into the 6 Healthy Birth Practices. To make things even better, they have made an infographic (see below! Feel free to print!) with all six of these practices so you can get a jump start on preparing for your birth.

I am so excited to be teaming up with MotherBirth to begin offering Lamaze Childbirth classes to the Lafayette area! Classes start in September, so visit the MotherBirth website to register and reserve your spot. 

Tory Carriere, LCCE, CD(DONA), CLC Tory chose to become Lamaze Certified after her first birth in 2006. After seeing the need for professional birth support options in North Acadiana, she became certified through DONA International as a doula, then had the opportunity to become certified to assist moms with breastfeeding as a lactation counselor. She lives in Opelousas with her husband and three children.

Coming through you

-Written by Hollis Yarborough

When I was training with DONA we were asked to depict in art form our “ideal birth”.

Considering all that I can draw is mere doodled flowers 

I chose to express my ideal birth in poetry ...an art form of words.  

Here is the poem I wrote.

                                                            

Coming Through You

Birth is an experience so pure, so crisp, so painful and real.

A pain of the soul that you cannot help but feel.

A pain of the heart, a pain that pushes through.

Not an everyday pain, but one that is new.

One that brings life, joy, laughter, and ease.

One that changes your life without cease.

A birth at home, naturally consumed.
With comfort, and tea, and lights at a gloom. 
The man that you love will be the one there,
with midwife and doula,

in this joy you will share.
Slow music, loud moaning, walking and moving about.

All is there.

All emotion.

All hormones.

All pain.

To be bared, to be shared.

The air will smell like lavender, and the tea will too.

While sipping and pushing and laboring hard. 
While going for walks in the back yard.

Time will slow, pain will increase, contractions will quicken.

All the while squatting and sitting.

The pushing gets harder,
 the moaning gets louder, 
and all of a sudden

the waiting is shattered.

Your child, your baby, the one you conceived,

has entered this world,

has brought such relief.

More than relief!

Pure joy.

No stress.

Immediately the baby is placed on your chest, 
crawls onto your breast.
And forever your life is changed.

Life is made new.

For a life has begun, coming through you. 

Hollis Yarborough is a DONA trained doula. She is currently pursuing an RN degree at SLCC, with hopes to get a bachelors degree in Midwifery. After attending a handful of births Hollis joined MotherBirth, with the hopes to assist many more women during pregnancy and birth. Hollis has a passion for childbirth, and its ability to strengthen women. Her hope is to empower women to know and understand the strength they hold within themselves during pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum.

One is not better than the other!

-Written by Colette Wild

     I recently attended a friend's beautiful birth which caused me to look inside myself as a woman, a new mother and a doula. It was the first homebirth and HypnoBirth that I had attended since my own in January. I was thrilled at the opportunity to be present.

     The moment I walked into my friend’s home I felt the strong sense of peace and relaxation mixed with the quiet excitement and anticipation of welcoming a new life. I watched as the mother labored, her concentration deep and quiet. I could see her confidence in her own body to do what it had to do. She changed positions in the birth pool every ten minutes or so, all the while keeping her eyes closed. It was like witnessing a secret conversation between mother and baby. Towards the end, she started whispering to her baby aloud, gentle and encouraging, telling her baby what a good job she was doing. It was so incredibly intimate.

    When I got home, in the early hours of the morning,  I could not get my mind to stop spinning as I layed in bed. I relived the whole birth again, completely mesmerized by it all. Before long, my brain went somewhere it shouldn’t have. I started comparing it with my own birth experience. I thought why couldn’t I be that quiet? Why wasn’t I that confident in labor? Why didn’t I decide to catch my own baby?

And then I stopped myself.

     The real question was: why was I comparing my unique birth with someone else’s unique birth?!

     It wasn't long before I realized I was downplaying my experience just because it was different than my friend's. My daughter's birth too was perfect in its own way. Awesome actually, but different! Just because I felt the need to moan during a hard contraction didn’t mean I was less strong or brave. Just because I didn’t have a waterbirth or catch my own baby didn’t mean my birth was less beautiful or that I was any less of a woman!

We are all going to birth different because we are different. 

     Our birth preferences are totally unique to ourselves and our situations. One is not better than the other! I had to remind my new mom self that the same applies to me. My daughter's birth was beautiful too!

     I also had to remind myself that I was (and am!) a first time mom. Despite attending births as a doula, I had never actually experienced labor quite like I did the day my daughter was born. 

     With my new experience, I have learned that it's OK to not know EXACTLY what we want the first time around... and even if we do, it's also OK if it doesn't unfold that way! We don't need to be beating ourselves up about our births! Instead, we need to be proud of our amazing body! We need to be proud of our incredible babies and proud of what we went through in order to hold our sweet angels for the first time! 

    Whether it was surprise cesarean section or a planned one, a planned natural birth or a surprise one, you worked hard and deserve to be proud of yourself! You are an amazing mother no matter the way you give birth! Just remember, no matter how your birth preferences may be different from your mother’s, sister’s, or friend’s, if you listen to your body and your baby, it will be just right for you! 

Colette is a certified doula with MotherBirth. She enjoys helping families discover the fulfillment and joy of natural birth. The homebirths of her two siblings and her own daughter greatly influenced her passion for the respect of women and the body's natural ability to give birth. Her goal as a doula is to help mothers gain the knowledge and confidence they need to have a happy, healthy and peaceful birth.