Doulas are for Daddies too!

Doulas are for Daddies too!

Written by Heather Zaunbrecher, RN

     As a first time mom, you are preparing yourself for childbirth. But, will Daddy be as prepared as you? Many times, he is not. When your contractions begin and your baby’s big day comes, you will have no choice but to actively participate in your birth. Have you thought about what Dad will be doing? Has he thought about what he will be doing?

     Research confirms that there are actually very few men who feel comfortable, confident and competently able to meet the needs of their woman in labor (The Role of the Father in Childbirth, Midwifery Today). Take my husband for example. When labor started and we arrived at the hospital, my husband quickly positioned himself in the nearest corner, big-eyed, helpless and anxious.  As an experienced labor and delivery nurse, I have seen this scenario happen over and over again as dads find it difficult to maintain their confidence in an uncomfortable environment filled with busy, authoritative professionals/strangers.

     It was not until my husband exhibited the same behavior for the birth of our second baby that I realized that Daddy needed a doula!

     How can the doula change this scenario? Well first, she can encourage Dad out of the corner and instruct him on a helpful technique that is appropriate for each stage of labor. While she may be the one who figures out that the hip squeeze may relieve your discomfort, Daddy is usually the one with the muscles strong enough to apply the perfect amount of pressure. If the doula were to suggest that you sway with the intensifying surges of labor, Daddy will likely be the person you want to hold close for your labor ‘dance’. From experience I can tell you that no amount of research on the benefits of having a doula can speak to how incredible it is to have Daddy feeling confident and receiving the support *HE* needs to be your superhero when you need him most. 

     The fact is, Daddies do not regret hiring doulas. They even go on to hire us for subsequent births. Why? Because while caring for the emotional and physical needs of the mother is always the doula’s top priority, caring for those same needs for Daddy is a very close second. Being the sole person responsible to support a laboring woman is a tough job, and Daddies appreciate the safe space the doula provides for him to take a personal minute if he needs one, or to have someone remind him to hydrate, or to have someone he trusts help him with new questions, concerns or situations.

    The truth is, as doulas, we know that nobody wants the best for you more than Daddy. We could never take his place. What we can do, however, is help him reach his maximum potential as your birth companion. That is why doulas are for Daddies too!

Heather is a registered nurse, DONA trained birth doula/montrice, midwife's assistant and a mother of 5! She serves families from Lake Charles to Lafayette. As a doula and a labor and delivery nurse, Heather is passionate about working closely with families to help them achieve the birth experience they desire.