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Doulas are for Daddies too!
Written by Heather Zaunbrecher, RN
As a first time mom, you are preparing yourself for
childbirth. But, will Daddy be as prepared as you? Many times, he is not. When
your contractions begin and your baby’s big day comes, you will have no choice
but to actively participate in your birth. Have you thought about what Dad will
be doing? Has he thought about what he will be doing?
Research confirms that there are actually very few men who
feel comfortable, confident and competently able to meet the needs of their woman
in labor (The Role of the Father in Childbirth, Midwifery Today). Take my
husband for example. When labor started and we arrived at the hospital, my
husband quickly positioned himself in the nearest corner, big-eyed, helpless
and anxious. As an experienced labor and
delivery nurse, I have seen this scenario happen over and over again as dads
find it difficult to maintain their confidence in an uncomfortable environment
filled with busy, authoritative professionals/strangers.
It was not until my husband exhibited the same behavior for
the birth of our second baby that I realized that Daddy needed a doula!
How can the doula change this scenario? Well first, she can
encourage Dad out of the corner and instruct him on a helpful technique that is
appropriate for each stage of labor. While she may be the one who figures out
that the hip squeeze may relieve your discomfort, Daddy is usually the one with
the muscles strong enough to apply the perfect amount of pressure. If the doula
were to suggest that you sway with the intensifying surges of labor, Daddy will
likely be the person you want to hold close for your labor ‘dance’. From
experience I can tell you that no amount of research on the benefits of having
a doula can speak to how incredible it is to have Daddy feeling confident and
receiving the support *HE* needs to be your superhero when you need him
most.
The fact is, Daddies do not regret hiring doulas. They even
go on to hire us for subsequent births. Why? Because while caring for the
emotional and physical needs of the mother is always the doula’s top priority,
caring for those same needs for Daddy is a very close second. Being the sole
person responsible to support a laboring woman is a tough job, and Daddies appreciate the safe space the doula provides for him to take a personal minute
if he needs one, or to have someone remind him to hydrate, or to have someone he
trusts help him with new questions, concerns or situations.
The truth is, as doulas, we know that nobody wants the best
for you more than Daddy. We could never take his place. What we can do,
however, is help him reach his maximum potential as your birth companion. That
is why doulas are for Daddies too!
Heather is a registered nurse, DONA trained birth doula/montrice, midwife's assistant and a mother of 5! She serves families from Lake Charles to Lafayette. As a doula and a labor and delivery nurse, Heather is passionate about working closely with families to help them achieve the birth experience they desire.
